My journey in recovery has been one of the most profound experiences of my life – and a complete surprise as I could never have imagined something that I thought would destroy me became my greatest gift.
Shame and stigma were some of the first battles I faced. They poisoned my mind and soul; it was as lethal as the alcohol I was putting in my body. They weren’t loud but they were heavy, whispers in my mind that told me I should stay small, stay quiet, stay hidden. For a while I carried them like they belonged to me. But recovery and my own self-discovery taught me the truth; they were never mine to hold.
I learned that shame is a thief and stigma is a lie. They both thrive in darkness and secrecy. Neither one has the power to define me unless I hand it over and I never will again.
Honesty and openness have been my freedom. My recovery isn’t about hiding, it’s about rising to the fullness of my innate power and the beauty of being my most authentic self. It’s about speaking even when my voice shakes and standing tall in the face of those who don’t understand and standing even taller for the ones who DO understand and are still trying to find their voice.
Today I own my recovery, unashamed, unafraid, unapologetically. I carry it proudly and share it. I’ve earned it like a PhD!
I have gratitude for the darkness I’ve walked through. It stripped me, tested me and brought me to my knees. But in that place, I’ve learned how to see light differently. I’ve learned how to hold joy with both hands and feel deserving of it. I breathe in gratitude for my life, truly knowing it’s MINE and I get to choose how to live it.
by Diane Anderson
Certified Recovery Peer Advocate for East End THRIVE, FCA
